if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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