I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
