dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
