So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize