fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
