I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize