I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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