I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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