Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
