remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
