belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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