My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
