sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
