Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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