So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
