I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
