He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
