When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
