Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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