Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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