just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
worst night to have a conscience
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
