i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
