Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
im on a boat
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