i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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