I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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