I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
