hotel room ftw
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize