So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Hello my rib-scented angel!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize