you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
