similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
