I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
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I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
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Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did