I heard we made out
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just cropdusted the office
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.