OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?