remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!