Old men and throwing up are my life now.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
