is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
