Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
the raccoons are back...
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