he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
