I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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