Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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