My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
