if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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