Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
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i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
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Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.