I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
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I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
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It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.