And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only