Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome

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  (610): the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome http://tfl.nu/8iag
  Replies (4) Good night (1570) Bad night (552)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.

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  (804): god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked. http://tfl.nu/eqg5
  Replies (8) Good night (3068) Bad night (833)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.

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  (630): Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me. http://tfl.nu/4ss8
  Replies (18) Good night (7138) Bad night (1903)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?

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  (720): New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future? http://tfl.nu/5rnd
  Replies (45) Good night (5332) Bad night (1170)
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  (754): View more from Florida

  He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?

  (954): View more from Florida

  In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?

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  (754): He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach? (954): In the hopes he'll just put it in one day? http://tfl.nu/u4da
  Replies (100) Good night (1446) Bad night (8219)
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  (516): View more from New York

  do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?

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  (516): do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ? http://tfl.nu/or6i
  Replies (6) Good night (2724) Bad night (921)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom

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  (226): We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom http://tfl.nu/piiz
  Replies (21) Good night (1418) Bad night (4694)
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  (909): View more from California

  He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.

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  (909): He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere. http://tfl.nu/wyhi
  Replies (4) Good night (3045) Bad night (694)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.

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  (757): I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out. http://tfl.nu/cmh8
  Replies (7) Good night (843) Bad night (2412)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.

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  (631): I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice. http://tfl.nu/lrh1
  Replies (6) Good night (1038) Bad night (555)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.

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  (509): This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats. http://tfl.nu/orv1
  Replies (4) Good night (641) Bad night (328)
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  (408): View more from California

  I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.

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  (408): I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment. http://tfl.nu/nl3d
  Replies (2) Good night (527) Bad night (251)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?

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  (513): Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom? http://tfl.nu/9zj7
  Replies (5) Good night (304) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Where did you go?

  (1-925): View more from California

  I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.

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  (925): Where did you go? (1-925): I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever. http://tfl.nu/3xtr
  Replies (0) Good night (589) Bad night (184)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..

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  (708): that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs.. http://tfl.nu/9ni1
  Replies (2) Good night (484) Bad night (247)

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