chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
