Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
