Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
