If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
