there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
