he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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