So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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