i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
