I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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