he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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