Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
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i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
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My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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