You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
