he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
