i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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