Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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