I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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