She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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