So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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