It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize