I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.